A Little Self Care...

Breath hangs in the air,

and Life hangs in the balance.

Choose your adventure!

This is a post that I have been reluctant to write...for many reasons.

I don't remember deciding to be this reserved and stressed out, overweight and under adventured person I have become...

It isn't easy being vulnerable.
Stories and appearances can be more interesting than the truth.
I don't like to make decisions and fail - especially with such an important decision.
Most days I let life happen to me and go along with things - forgetting my goals and choices.

So here it is. I know now that I am gluten intolerant and can only have minimal amounts of dairy. The pain that both of them cause isn't worth it. It truly isn't. However, balancing this new way of eating - I have found that it's still super easy to eat crappy food that isn't good for me. Also - ridiculous amounts of stress just make stress eating worse.

Potato chips. Enough said. Enough eaten.

My decision - beginning October 1st - is to care for myself first. Before family, friends or work, I am going to start taking care of me. I know what to do, I've been reading and studying some of this for months (even years).

It's a very simple plan. If it isn't good for me, I'm done with it.

I'm starting simple with just adding in 1/2 hour of walking every day that I can, a time of sitting still every day in meditation, cutting out anything that is packaged or processed, and cutting back on that afternoon coffee. Simple, right?  Eat less and move more sounds easy, but there are so many factors involved with retraining our minds and habits.

A pretty miraculous thing happened with this gluten-free living - the pain of the Fibromyalgia has been much less, I can think clearly and the pain in my legs and feet (that kept me out of work last year and in physical therapy) is almost gone. A small amount of self care has taken care of a huge roadblock of the past. I'm interested in seeing what other roadblocks can be eliminated...

So I will try to sleep a little more (and probably better with less caffeine), and the weight loss that has started with eating gluten-free has given me encouragement to continue on. Now it is time to move more and continue strengthening!

Yesterday, I walked at least 5 (long) miles in a walk to raise money for cancer research and it was so much fun!  I would love to do more things like this. Let's just be honest - there was no "speed" in the walking I did yesterday. However, it was awesome!  It pushed me beyond what I thought I could do and to this decision to make changes.

My sister Kim, Me, my sister Amber, and niece Lilly <3

The reason I took the Permaculture course and got my certificate was because of how many people around me are food insecure and the need for sustainable food.

1 in 3 children in Worcester don't know where their next meal will come from.
A humbling realization when I think about how much extra I have consumed personally.

I would like to live in a way that honors the knowledge that I have about nutrition and living well.
I would like to live in a way that I consume only what is necessary. Food or otherwise.
I would like to create a sustainable life where I am. Food, energy, clothing, etc.
I would like to be less stressed out - and able to spend more quality time with the people I love.
I would like to be strong enough to contribute more to meet the needs I see around me.
I would like to have the energy and focus to show the gratitude I feel for the friends and family who make my life so inspirational and special.

And as far as my part in this living - I would like to live a very long time and have many more adventures!

I do not want to be a contributing factor to limiting length of my life...

The "Constant" Illusion

The garden is slowing down. We will probably have a frost tonight, and, just like that, Autumn is here. There are a few tomatoes that need to turn red, a couple of eggplant and some carrots left to harvest. A couple of beds of peas waiting to be picked and shucked and canned or frozen. We just picked a few more small sugar pumpkins that will make delicious, delicious pie someday soon.

These little sugar pumpkins came up on their own this year

Firewood is stacked in the driveway, and after the last of the veggies are picked out of the garden and a cover crop of oats is sown, only winter remains. Winter is a natural time of reflection and I am doing a lot of soul searching lately, thinking of what really matters to me, what direction I want my life to take, what I value.

The job I go to every day is changing. Co-workers are leaving, the way I interact with accounts will be different. A piece of it all will stay the same, but much of it will be different. I feel emotional about this. In my day to day - I forgot that things don't stay the same.

I am grateful to be employed and grateful for as long as it lasts. Let's be real about the economy here...it isn't going well and many people are suffering - sometimes because they desperately need the necessities of survival, sometimes because they desire more than their share and more than what really would make them happy. This is for each person to work through, but I can tell you that my questions to myself are many.

Is this ______ necessary?
What do I truly need?
What is enough?
Am I appreciative and kind?
Do the people I love know how much I care about them?

There is an illusion that I buy into sometimes...that the things around me are constant and will never change. I think we, in general, can accept that children grow up and people age. Cars, houses and relationships break down at times and need repair.  But other times, we put blinders on and believe that situations - like our employment - are forever, that people will always be around and never die - that people will never hurt or disappoint us. Because I don't remember that life is constantly changing, when something major happens like death, divorce, unemployment or other accidents - I waste precious time adjusting and thinking about myself, rather than being prepared to help loved ones through those situations.

The blessing in this life is that it is constantly changing and yet, we often spend our days denying that change exists. People and situations flow in and out of our lives and if we are paying attention, there is something to learn from every one of them. My striving in the future will be to spend quality time with people and create memories. Money, people, things, jobs, cars, etc will enter and leave our lives many times - but memories are etched forever in our hearts and minds.

Every day dawns with the same potential for whatever adventure we choose!

Choose wisely and often and enjoy the ride!

Fruit Cobbler - Gluten Free

I found a great recipe for fruit cobbler here and made some changes.

One of our little trees fruited this year! We pruned off most of the fruit, let a few apples mature and are trying them out with this recipe.

Basically, you cut up whatever fruit you have on hand and put it in a cast iron skillet.
Press it down gently to fill in the spaces.


Mix topping ingredients together in a bowl and spread evenly over the fruit - gently pressing down to form a crust. If you are using very juicy fruit these measurements are fine - if the fruit is baking apples, I would double the recipe for a nice thick crust and double the butter.

I would like to try this with pumpkin and apples with pumpkin seeds in place of chopped nuts!


1/2 cup chopped nuts (you could easily use any type of seed here instead of nuts)
3/4 cups oats
1/4 cup coconut or regular butter
2 Tablespoons Coconut flour
2 Tablespoons Brown Sugar
1/4 teaspoon Salt

Bake at 350F for 40-45 minutes.