A Little Self Care...

Breath hangs in the air,

and Life hangs in the balance.

Choose your adventure!

This is a post that I have been reluctant to write...for many reasons.

I don't remember deciding to be this reserved and stressed out, overweight and under adventured person I have become...

It isn't easy being vulnerable.
Stories and appearances can be more interesting than the truth.
I don't like to make decisions and fail - especially with such an important decision.
Most days I let life happen to me and go along with things - forgetting my goals and choices.

So here it is. I know now that I am gluten intolerant and can only have minimal amounts of dairy. The pain that both of them cause isn't worth it. It truly isn't. However, balancing this new way of eating - I have found that it's still super easy to eat crappy food that isn't good for me. Also - ridiculous amounts of stress just make stress eating worse.

Potato chips. Enough said. Enough eaten.

My decision - beginning October 1st - is to care for myself first. Before family, friends or work, I am going to start taking care of me. I know what to do, I've been reading and studying some of this for months (even years).

It's a very simple plan. If it isn't good for me, I'm done with it.

I'm starting simple with just adding in 1/2 hour of walking every day that I can, a time of sitting still every day in meditation, cutting out anything that is packaged or processed, and cutting back on that afternoon coffee. Simple, right?  Eat less and move more sounds easy, but there are so many factors involved with retraining our minds and habits.

A pretty miraculous thing happened with this gluten-free living - the pain of the Fibromyalgia has been much less, I can think clearly and the pain in my legs and feet (that kept me out of work last year and in physical therapy) is almost gone. A small amount of self care has taken care of a huge roadblock of the past. I'm interested in seeing what other roadblocks can be eliminated...

So I will try to sleep a little more (and probably better with less caffeine), and the weight loss that has started with eating gluten-free has given me encouragement to continue on. Now it is time to move more and continue strengthening!

Yesterday, I walked at least 5 (long) miles in a walk to raise money for cancer research and it was so much fun!  I would love to do more things like this. Let's just be honest - there was no "speed" in the walking I did yesterday. However, it was awesome!  It pushed me beyond what I thought I could do and to this decision to make changes.

My sister Kim, Me, my sister Amber, and niece Lilly <3

The reason I took the Permaculture course and got my certificate was because of how many people around me are food insecure and the need for sustainable food.

1 in 3 children in Worcester don't know where their next meal will come from.
A humbling realization when I think about how much extra I have consumed personally.

I would like to live in a way that honors the knowledge that I have about nutrition and living well.
I would like to live in a way that I consume only what is necessary. Food or otherwise.
I would like to create a sustainable life where I am. Food, energy, clothing, etc.
I would like to be less stressed out - and able to spend more quality time with the people I love.
I would like to be strong enough to contribute more to meet the needs I see around me.
I would like to have the energy and focus to show the gratitude I feel for the friends and family who make my life so inspirational and special.

And as far as my part in this living - I would like to live a very long time and have many more adventures!

I do not want to be a contributing factor to limiting length of my life...

My Permaculture Story

Although it seems like many, many years ago, my Permaculture story began in August 2010...

I was home for vacation in the beginning of August, looking at gardening videos on YouTube and came across a series of videos on Permaculture.  I don't remember who posted them, but I remember they featured Geoff Lawton and Bill Mollison and the Permaculture Institute in Australia. I found the first video and for every waking moment of that 7 days after (and since) I consumed whatever information I could find on Permaculture.

Based on those few videos, we planned the garden beds, dry river bed (swale) and the multitude of Perennial trees, bushes and vines. We started simply with just a couple of beds and have added steadily for the past 3 years. My thinking was that if we just kept adding, we could grow quite a bit of veggies, fruit, nuts and annuals each year.

Then something happened that was completely unexpected...

For the first time ever, the course in Australia was opened up on-line for people to take. People, like me, who could not go to Australia, but wanted so much to learn everything possible about Permaculture.  This design science, this sustainable living, this food security in an uncertain world - was open to me. The price was right and I signed up for what would change my life forever. Permaculture was already such a focus for me, I believe that everyone should have the ability to eat a variety of in season foods and food insecurity is an unnecessary condition of our current society.

I took the course, over the past few months, absorbed as much information as I could, took the quiz, and turned in my project to design a sustainable existence on our 100x50 ft. lot that we live on. Not only did I see the possibilities for us, I saw the possibilities for the world.

No one should be hungry...but instead, we have the answers to live in absolute abundance.

The past Tuesday, I realized another surreal and amazing event when Geoff Lawton came to UMass Amherst, (sponsored by the Permaculture programs there) and I was able to receive my certificate in person from Geoff. He spoke first of possibilities, of changes we can all make to create a different world around us - one of abundance.

When we arrived, we weren't sure where we were, but I turned and saw Ryan Harb and Geoff Lawton walking by, as well as Jonathan from the Permaculture Food Forest of Holyoke driving by (we have purchased many of our perennial plants from him). So we followed them to the room where Geoff was speaking.

I stayed after the talk and met Geoff and received my certificate in Permaculture.  One of the most important events in my life, by far. It's just the beginning, and now I have a certificate to teach Permaculture. I have a lot to learn still, and our experiments in this little yard are helping me to understand things on a bigger scale.

I am changed. Nothing will ever be the same. To have the solution and not act is inexcusable.

That being said, I have a lot to learn and will continue to move forward - experimenting with plants and annual garden beds in our garden, as well as keeping track of the perennial trees and vines, and learning so much from the small space we are working with.

I look forward to future adventures!

The pictures are a little blurry, but it doesn't change how much this means to me.

Thank you, Geoff.

Vacationing at Home: Day 6

Day 6: Saturday

Today was a great day to sleep in, hang around the house and garden and talk with neighbors. Spent a fun day relaxing, watched a couple of movies, and had some friends over tonight for gaming. I, of course, play a Druid in D&D and it's lots of fun to play and write a story with our friends.

I finished my project and uploaded my final for the Permaculture class. Now I would like to find another challenge, another place to design and work toward teaching abundance, food security, and sustainability. I look forward to where this new perspective on everything will take me.

For house projects today, I gathered together laundry and washed, dried, hung up and folded everything I could find in this house that needed to be cleaned. With everything for the week ready to go, tomorrow I work on the next project - gathering all paperwork, books and magazines to the basement to sort, trash, donate and shred where appropriate.

One project a day seems to work well - nice days on outdoor projects, and rainy days on indoor projects. The difference this time, is that when these bigger indoor projects are done - I won't have to do them again. There won't be a junk drawer or closet left untouched and when I'm done, there will only be what is necessary and needed.

For today's pictures - veggies and fruit from the garden. The perennials are growing: trees, vines, berries, nuts, and other plants.  The raised beds change day to day. We dug up the red potatoes and canned 27 pint jars for winter. The other beds have a variety of plants - we keep trying a few different things in each to find what will grow best for us.  The squashes are thriving this year and I am looking forward to a pumpkin harvest in the autumn.  Our cherry tomatoes are just starting to flower and the canning tomatoes just might make it.

Jerusalem Artichoke (Sunchoke) 

Zucchini

Sugar Pumpkins

Gala Apples

Eggplant

Cherry Tomatoes finally starting to flower

Hot peppers!

Small Red beans for drying

Carrots growing, growing, growing

Vacationing at Home: Day 4

Day 4 - Thursday

It was a rainy and quiet morning, so we slept in. Rob went to see his Dad and I worked on cleaning up the house. This paring down of excess takes awhile. The nature of what we are trying to do with our garden, and becoming as sustainable as possible, requires some pretty specialized equipment for canning and food storage. I have no problem keeping the tools and equipment we need - what I still am figuring out is the massive amount of paperwork, mail, magazines, etc. that four adults generate. If I am honest about it - quite a bit of it is mine. I'm letting all but one of the magazines expire. I really enjoy Countryside, and have read it for years, and reread them - so those I'm keeping.

I spent some time hanging out with my daughter when she got home from work, which is always enjoyable, and then I worked for hours on the Powerpoint and drawings for my Permaculture final project. Working on this project for a design to make our property sustainable reveals some things to me personally. I feel overcrowded with many of the things around me. Clothing, books, paperwork, etc. I have been spending time thinking about my habits, hobbies, and day to day living and the effect it has on the world around me - and if my personal lifestyle is sustainable. Where I buy my clothes from, where our food comes from, all of the the other things we buy or throw away and how it effects the environment. We have found a place to buy local meat, cheese, eggs, etc. through Mass Local Food and next I want to find a way to buy clothing local. I'm just starting the research on this.

When Rob got home - he suggested we go to Rosalina's for dinner. It's so great to have such an amazing place to eat that we can walk a couple of blocks to. Dinner was delicious and I have almost 1/2 of my steak left - so tomorrow it's going to become a topping when I make my first gluten free (rice crust) pizza!

It was a slower paced day - but I find that I get more done when I can work on a project, then take a break and walk around or sit in the yard - and then get back to the project. Smaller bursts of work have a longer lasting effect on the progress I make.

One project was to clear off, organize (and get rid of) a bunch of useless things on the counter downstairs in our basement kitchen. So, I cleaned everything up to make a nice area for baking (and storing baking supplies) as well as a bigger space for canning and processing veggies from the garden. The cabinets are for food storage - for what doesn't fit in the couple of cabinets we have upstairs. Most of the baking supplies need to stay in a cooler place, so this is perfect. Also - with the space ready to use like this - I will be more likely to whip up some delicious meal or treat.  During the summer, when we don't use the wood stove for heating - we do our cooking downstairs in the gas stove.

Vacationing at home: Day 2

Yesterday we woke up early, and as Rob took Pippin for his yearly check up and shots, I took my quiz for the on-line Permaculture course I am taking.

Pippin is healthy and happy to be back home. He isn't really fond of vet visits...

And I passed my quiz. All that is left now, is to finish the design I am working on for our home, yard, & garden and turn it in.

We also went down to the True Value Hardware on Hamilton Street to find some jars to store the new flours we ordered. We bought some great canning jars that are 1/2 gallon size - perfect for storing flours and grains! I have all the supplies I need now to start mixing and experimenting with the different gluten-free flours.

All of the flours, Xantham Gum, and Coconut oil

Awesome and very useful jars
Tapioca pearls, Coconut flour, Tapioca Flour, White Rice Flour, Buckwheat
Xanthan Gum, and Coconut Oil

While we were watering the veggie beds, we pulled out one of the Purple Dragon Carrots to see how they are doing... and they are almost ready to can - although I have read that they turn a really interesting shade of brown when they are canned. I guess we'll use those in stews  =)

Purple Carrots have the same anti-oxidants that are in blueberries and are delicious!

    

Vacationing at home: Day 1

Day 1:

Having this week off from working at my job, and the free time it creates - gives me much time to relax. I slept in over the weekend and really rested, and today, when I woke up I found that the projects I wanted to get done are slowly getting started.

The end of Summer creates a long list of things to do to get ready for the winter.  Well, let's be honest about it - I always have a list of projects I am working on. Today all of the different flours I ordered arrived - so the rest of this week will include some new gluten free baking.I also have the measuring tools, etc. that I ordered to work on my Permaculture final of designing our house and land to be sustainable. Once that is done and uploaded, I will be certified in Permaculture.

Today, we took a little vacation trip in Worcester. We went down the hill and caught the bus up to Lincoln Plaza. It's truly a beautiful (almost autumn-like) day and after we got off the bus we browsed around Target, but didn't find anything we needed. We went to Barnes and noble and got a double espresso, bought a movie on sale and a book called Vegetable Literacy that groups plants together by family for growing and cooking.

After the bookstore, we walked over to the grocery store and I found a bread to try with gluten-free ingredients. I want to try the bread so I know if the flavor is something I really want to duplicate by figuring out recipes for gluten-free breads.  We picked up a couple of other things at the grocery store and headed back home on the bus.

What I realized is that when there is no hurry, time slows down so much. Waking up is just waking up, brewing coffee is brewing coffee and it's all enjoyable because time has slowed down. Being rested is the most noticeable difference - oh, and the stress level is non-existent.

When we got home, we relaxed for awhile, and then set up a Bagster to get rid of some broken lamps and an old bed, etc. Nothing that can be salvaged or donated.  The shed is almost empty now, and ready for the firewood we will have delivered for winter. This has been on my mind because it is only August and already heading into the 50's. Autumn seems pretty close right now! We set up the screenhouse to sit in while we are home this week.

After a dinner of delicious leftovers from dinner last night - I planted a new Sage plant and we watered the garden, and it's only 7:00. My natural flow of interests now moves to write, study the Permaculture course and work on my final design.

There is also more than enough time to wash the few dishes we use and do a load of laundry while I study. Time spreads out and is more than enough for everything. If I change my mind and decide to pay guitar or clean the basement - it doesn't matter. When there is time, everything gets done.

It feels like a vacation to wander in bookstores unbridled by any time constraint and let creativity flow in a natural way. By the end of this week the stack of projects - that sit in the back of my mind during a work week - will be done in a relaxed and fun way.

Bagster bag full

Abundance

How can it be that after the hottest week of the year - drenching, dry, empty rain barrel heat - there is a crispness in the air and something awakens in me? The yearning for autumn and brisk walks, preparing food and wood for a winter rest? Full moon and cooler air and I am transported to a place inside. This huge land where stories run free, where dreams and daydreams all happen under a sky with a full moon and billions of stars brighter than any daytime sun. A land of abundance and no want or need.

For a few minutes I slowed down today and sat still - what a great, vast power there is in just being...

So much of this process of learning about myself, about Permaculture, about the people and land around me, and about the Earth herself, is just observing. I know that I get caught up in the day to day things and stop seeing truth and acknowledging what is most important to me. This class on Permaculture is opening my eyes to situations and solutions and to the reality that nothing can ever change unless I stop long enough to see that every action, every interaction, every person, animal, plant that I come into contact with has value and something to teach me. It's my responsibility to live in a way that reflects and preserves this value.

Wonder. This world, this heart, this land is full of wonder...and it is just the beginning of discovery.

The sunflower has two flowers!

Our Garden is coming to life!

When you consider that our yard looked like this only a few short years ago:

And last year grew into this:

It is not so surprising that this 2nd year we have started to see some changes - like toads and chipmunks. It makes me so happy to see this little toad (below) living in the herb spiral. There were two of them there the other night and a really big one near the dry river bed.

Permaculture - to me - is the process of restoring an area to function again. I didn't have to put toads in the garden.  Because of these small changes we have made - creating a garden that attracts slugs and other bugs, creating a place with shelter and moisture - it really was just a matter of time before the predator arrived...

 The cute little guys that will save our vegetables. 

They do the work naturally, and we don't have to.

It's magical.

Finding Our Way Out of Food Insecurity...

I remember the first time I heard the phrase "food desert". A friend I work with used it and I remember the image it created in my mind and I wanted to find out more about it. Because I have not experienced this, it was a surprise for me to find out that places exist where people don't have access to a grocery store, but just small markets or corner stores and much of the food can be packaged or "junk" food. To get to someplace with fresh fruit or vegetables would take traveling a great distance. This was shocking to me. What I learned today is that this isn't an accurate description. There isn't a desert - this creates an image of nothing. There are so many people that live in these areas and do not have access to quality food. This is not their doing, but it greatly effects the quality of their lives.

What used to be just an inner city problem of not having access to food is larger than we realize. Packaged "fresh" fruit that I have bought for years, now says the same things it always said with an added little "product of China" printed at the bottom. Fresh fruit / Product of China really doesn't gel in my mind. It creates a conflict. I am also sick most of the time from food, so this quest has become urgent for me. No dairy, no wheat, minimal corn and soy? I can barely shop at a regular store with this list. So where do I go? It has to be local. But what does local mean?

I thought I had access to food that was good for me (the oranges are from Africa? organic food from China?) and I thought I was not one of the people at risk for eating contaminated food, but that is changing daily across the country as breakout after breakout of illness and death happens because of contaminated food. It isn't a third world problem, it is a world problem.

Why can't we have access to quality food? Without pesticides, and without food colorings and chemicals? We can. We ordered our food this month (meat, eggs, cheese, etc.) from the Mass Local Food Coop. All local from local farms. But this creates another conflict for me. Why can't everyone have this? We are also starting our second growing season of fruit trees, nuts, perennial vegetables and annual beds. We can have local access, but it's going to take work.

Now I need to act. I am researching the Regional Environmental Council (REC) in Worcester, and their next orientation for volunteers is on May 16th. So that's a start. They are already doing it - gardening and Farmer's Markets, reaching out to the community and education. I can find out about volunteering and learn there. I can also support them by shopping at the Farmer's Markets when they open.  I need to learn more to know where I fit in this process.

Today I went to Worcester State University to hear Karen Washington speak about food insecurity. (Not knowing where your next meal will come from)  She is truly an amazing woman. I first heard her speak at the NOFA conference in January and when I saw that she was returning to Worcester to speak again, I took the day off from work for an adventure. She's doing it, and has been for years: urban gardening in the Bronx, giving people in those places that are at risk access to fresh fruit and vegetables. Encouraging people to vote for people who care about food issues, educating youth about food, growing food and contributing to her neighborhood.

One of the things that really made an impression on me was that anyone who went to their Farmer's Market left with food - whether they had money to pay or not. They planted enough to give away to the  people who most needed it.

I have a lot to consider and don't know how I will be involved. I know where to start:

     Buy local, quality food. Check and recheck labels and where my food is coming from.
     Grow as much food as I possibly can.
     Get involved in what is already working and needs my support.

In the forefront of my mind are the ideas of Permaculture. Setting up a system that is partially annual planting, but the bulk of which will be perennial and not require any work except harvesting, saving seeds, canning and storing.

I keep hearing that the best way to "beat the system" is to know the system and learn how to change it. But, what if the best way to beat the system is to just not need it anymore?

Along with the ideas of needing and requiring less, developing quality relationships and having more adventures in my life, I think the best place to start is just outside my door...

Paw Paw Tree and the Seven Layer Forest

It was exciting to finally install the last of our "upper tree" level of the garden. The Paw Paw tree arrived on Friday, along with blueberries (that are still in the house), 5 grapevines of different varieties and a new Meyer Lemon to replace the one we had indoors that didn't make it.

In the Food Forest idea of setting up an area, there are seven layers:

1.  Canopy layer consisting of the original mature fruit trees.
2.  Low-tree layer of smaller nut and fruit trees on dwarfing root stocks
3.  Shrub layer of fruit bushes such as current and berries
4.  Herbaceous layers of perennial vegetables and herbs
5.  Ground cover layer of edible plants that spread horizontally
6.  Rhizosphere or underground dimension of plants grown for their roots and tubers
7.  Vertical layer of vines and climbers

For our little yard attempt at this: we have a very large, old Maple in the neighbors yard.

The low tree level has 4 different apples, 3 pears, hazelnut, almond, 

The shrub layer has Goumi, Jostaberry, Pink Grapefruit current, Red Current.

Herbaceous layer of perennial vegetables and herbs: herb spiral with culinary herbs, Sea Kale, Nasturtium, Arugula, Horseradish, etc.

The Ground cover layer includes peas (planted today) for fixing nitrogen, Comfrey, and we are still working on this layer.

The Roots or tubers, we have mainly Sunchokes and are looking at more of these.

The Vertical layer of vines: we have Hardy Kiwi, Concord Grapes, and 3 other variety of grapes to install.

We also have 8 annual vegetable beds - three of which we planted today with peas to fix nitrogen for the tomatoes, carrots, potatoes, and other annuals that will be growing in the beds.

My planning, right now, is for more culinary herbs, medicinal herbs, as well as pots of flowers throughout the yard and in the driveway to make use of that space. Ideally, I would like to take up the asphalt and install gravel with room for more garden beds that are not permanent.

The first explanation I ever saw about Food Forests was with Geoff Lawton from Permaculture Institute in Australia . He has helped me to see and understand that nature will work if we set up the right conditions for growth. 

The first day of having my hands in the soil again, and it all comes rushing back - winter is over and we are eating the last of our canned vegetables, and the cycle begins again. I have so much to learn, and in the garden, every day teaches me.

The corner of the yard - empty and waiting for a tree

Paw Paw Tree planted - it doesn't look like much now,
but it will be 20 feet tall x 10 feet wide (dwarf)

Spring is in the Front Yard

One of the most important principles of Permaculture is observation. When I read about trees and plants changing the ecosystem of a yard, it's hard to visualize, so physical observation is really necessary. I can see where the sun hits at different times of the year, and what structures heat up even in the winter temperatures. In winter how the wind blows is more evident by the higher snow piles and drifts that were at least a foot deeper than the front of the house, and with the melting - how water moves across the yard, and is mostly captured to stay and be absorbed in the places we will need it. As the fruit trees, vines and perennial plants grow - the garden will continue to change. Every year it will be different, and where we plant annuals may change. This year, we still have a bit of foundational work to do, building up beds and installing trees and plants. And every year there will be the vegetable garden. The bulk of what we will have eventually will be perennial and only the beds will be planted. But all of this takes time...and spring is in the front yard.

The back garden looked like this on Sunday

Spring was in the front yard...trying anyway



Here is a good comparison of the size of the fruit trees when we bought them last year. We replaced the Meyer Lemon and it is on the windowsill - the potted fruit trees are only a year old and have been repotted twice. They love this sunny window!

Two new blueberries waiting for the ground to thaw

We also have a Paw-paw Tree to plant as the last of the higher story of the garden and we are waiting for several new grape vines, a couple Concord and three new varieties.

There are rumors that the next few days will be in the 50's and I hope it's true. 

There is so much to do and I can't wait to get outside and begin!

Home: Zone 0 - Energy Efficient Windows

Last year, on February 17th, we woke up early, let in a team of men from Rescom Exteriors to work on our house, and a few hours later, all of our windows were replaced.

Let me give you an idea of what we were working with: our home was built by hand, by a man who clearly loved it very much. He worked on his home with the leftovers of other projects, and this was reflected in the several different kinds of windows we had throughout our house.  All different styles, all metal framed, some with screens, some without, many had broken ropes and all were in need of scraping and painting.  Our main large front pane didn't open at all, so the air from the south never cooled the house in the evening. The old windows were not secure, and many had been locked for the 10 years since we moved in.

Here are some of the "before" pictures of the windows - as I look at them again, I remember the rust. We also had metal blinds in most of the windows and plastic mini blinds in the rest.  Both of which are horrible to keep clean.

So the team of men came in and took out all the windows...thankfully, it was a mild February day!

And the end result is beautiful!

This window was one pane - and now opens!

The center window is now a frosted bathroom window

 

It has been a year since we had the windows installed.  We haven't used our furnace or radiators for two winters, and the wood we've used for the wood stove this year was around $500 ~ one month of heating with gas during the winter months in the past.

For me, the fact that all of the windows can be opened safely, look beautiful and are easy to clean, makes the cost worth it. The windows are tinted and keep out some of the heat in summer, but let in enough light to charge our solar lights we use for night lights and holiday lights.

We didn't need our air conditioners this past summer and were able to cut down quite a bit on electricity because of  good air circulation - especially having the whole front of the house able to open and let air blow through. 

I have read a lot about sustainability and I am seeing a two fold process. One is the changing of ourselves, our requirements, and our interaction with the world around us. The other, is making the changes to the physical around us so we can to simplify the life we have and enjoy it more. 

The windows all do tricks - and can be cleaned easily. They are also tinted and (as in the picture below) don't require any of the metal or plastic dust collecting mini-blinds. This makes a cleaner house and the tapestry-like curtains are more than enough to keep sun out or provide enough privacy at night where needed. Or keep out an early morning sun on a day I want to sleep in!

There are some books on Permaculture that look at the home as being Zone 0 - the primary place you live and spend your time ~ where you eat, sleep, and do the bulk of your activities. This change in our physical house has changed our interaction with our whole property. We are very near to our neighbors, and now we can let the air in on one side, and completely block out the noise and smells from another neighbor. We live in a refuge in the city, worth any amount of money we would have spent to save energy ~ and in some ways, our sanity. 

A little bit of peace created by our love and interaction with the structure around us...